to be human is to be in relation

« experience that doesn't occur between the world and us but rather within ourselves (Buber p.56).

In the I-It relationship, we are only distant observers and fail to be present and engage in relation with the world.

The I-You relationship, in contrast, represents the entrance into relation.

In this type of relationship, rather than being observers, we become active participants of the world.

We no longer use or experience one another but rather get into relation with one another.

This, in my opinion is when real connection occurs.

By getting in relation with the You, we are able to be ourselves once again and find meaning.

Contrary to the I-It relationship which “can never be spoken with one's whole being” (Buber p.54), in the I-You relationship, we have the ability to be ourselves again.

Because when we enter in a I-You relationship, we no longer view each other as objects but rather as subjects.

We then become able to feel real connection. When listening to Emily Rossum's podcast about Millenials' way of “doing relationships”, we see the true example of an I-It relationship.

This is the example of a relationship in which two human beings “look at each other ,each waiting for the other to offer to do that which both desire but neither wishes to do.” (Buber p.70).

It is a relationship in which no one is willing to take the risk, sacrifice their ego nor allow themselves to experience the You, for fear of vulnerability and of being hurt.

Like Fisher claims in her podcast This is your brain on sex, we are now more than ever “afraid to fail” and even though we want love, we are constantly afraid of attachment.

Rather than taking a chance to let our perspective and ego go away, we tend to think that it's “better to leave the other one hanging than risk the same happening to us.” (Rossum) So we  choose to remain casual and perceive the other as our It, rather than engage in intimacy and relation with them.

As Emma Rossum beautifully said it, our generation has “turned this avoidance into a science, perfecting the separation of the physical from the emotional.”  What can we then do to fix this ? Which solutions does Buber propose to this problem ? In I and Thou, Buber is trying to inform us that even though the I-It relationship is inevitable, because as humans we constantly observe the world around us in a very objective form, there is still a way for us be truly humans, which is through what he calls the “encounter”.

In this encounter, we enter in an I-You relationship, in which we are able to participate, take sacrifices and let ourselves be transformed by our relation with the You.

We no longer see the you as made up of qualities or quantities but rather as our entire universe.. »